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Health is Wealth

I am sitting here in my parents house, confined to the couch for over 7 weeks now. Whilst in normal scenarios I would welcome this break, my time on the couch is causing me a lot of stress these days, and, if I never had to sit down again it would be too soon. However, I have decided that today, the 15th of February 2012, I am going to start my blog. If nothing else I need some mental stimulation, aside from the limited amount of work I can do from my laptop.

As someone whose business is in existence less than a year, it is absolutely breaking my heart to be so confined and limited in mobility. I have been confined to bed since early January. This time away from my business will possibly damage my business irreparably. The worse thing of all is that after trips to several different GP's, multiple blood tests, 2 ECG's, 1 Brain Scan and more general check overs than I can care to remember, we still don't actually have a diagnosis. So apart from the natural fear onset by the lack of knowledge of what is going on inside me, there is also the frustration from not knowing when, or even if, my situation will improve. This has knock on effects across every aspect of my day to day life. Who will take over the business? What will I tell my clients? How will I pay my bills? I now have business bills to cover as well as personal.

Just today, my partner and I discussed the possibility of this setup, and illness, dragging out into a long term arrangement. I now not only feel sorry for myself (as any normally active person would after 7 weeks on the flat of their back) but my empathy is directed at my partner. Is she getting sick of the sight of me in bed? Is that why I decided to go to my parents for a few days? To give her a break from my cribbing and moaning? I know she understands that this is not man flu, however, not being able to help me is something that would really play on her mind.

So where do I go from here? I have to do a few things this week. Each week I have put off important business and work related meetings and tasks, simply because each week I have thought that I would be better the following. This week I will be formally handing over the reigns. This is a massive deal to me and I am very nervous about doing so, albeit to a very capable brother of mine. 

All the doctors think I have some sort of M.E or Post Viral Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have done a lot of research on this type of illness, and, it does seem to make a lot of sense, however, I must say I agree with the sentiment on a lot of the forums for the condition, in that "Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome" is a derogatory term with which to call what I am feeling. In any event this week I am on a concoction of herbal medicines and remedies and conventional medicine, trying to treat my symptoms, as there is no cure to the illness itself. Next week I am off to a herbalist and will also be taking a trip outside for some acupuncture, as I am reliably informed that both these can seriously help recovery. Let's hope the "quack medicine" I so harshly criticised and sneered down my nose at for so long, can come to my rescue now, in my time of most need!

Comments

  1. Hey Diarmuid,

    I am truly sorry to hear of your situation. I know what a driven person you are so I understand how insanely frustrated you must feel.

    We're a while out of First Step now, but keep in touch and if there's anything at all I can do - please do not hesitate to contact me

    My best regards for a speedy recovery,

    Níall Donovan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Niall,

      Ya it's been too long. My post there may have come across as playing the violin somewhat, however, in the absense of a prognosis I have to vent and tell of my experience somewhere. Thanks a million for your kind words and thoughts. They are very much appreciated. Here's hoping it's a speedy recovery I have.

      How are things with you? I hope you are keeping well?

      Diarmaid.

      Delete
  2. Story lad!

    Finally getting around to reading you blog (Hate Kerry in September eh!), we'll have to have words about that when you're feeling better!

    Anyhow hope the health improves soon, I miss my old debating partner over a few pints!!

    See you soon...

    P

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Diarmaid : )

    Thanks for dropping by my blog!

    God, my heart sinks, and I shiver when I read your post. I walked in your very shoes a few years back. It is a very difficult journey to walk... One is bombarded with so many issues to deal with at once. I too am a hugely ambitious person, and that whole aspect is vERy difficult. I had not just started my own business a year, but I had just recovered enough to get out to work for a year to then have a bad relapse and have to leave again. Devastating!

    Believe me I know what you are going through...

    Drop me a PM if you need someone to chat to who has already walked in your shoes.

    Take care : )

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Treya,

    Thanks a million. Doctors slow to tell me definitively that it's ME, albeit I am after meeting 6 doctors now and after doing a whole battery of tests. Have so many symptoms they worry me quite a bit most days. Would love to have a chat as some days some symptoms really worry me.

    Thanks.

    Diarmaid

    ReplyDelete

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