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"This is a Low"

Back home today and I am really after hitting a low point. The last number of days I have seen some improvement in my mobility and general feeling. So it was with great joy and excitement that I made my way unassisted in my own car to Dunnes in Blackpool Shopping Centre. BIG mistake!

If having to walk the mere 40 odd yards to the door was not enough to send me off the edge, the short walk to the fruit and veg section had me shaking violently and feeling like I was about to collapse. I managed to keep it together, albeit it through palpitations and a feeling that I was about to lose consciousness, and make it out of there. I had to sit in my car for a few minutes to pull together the energy to drive the short spin home, a mere 2 mins drive.

Needless to say I am at a low eb today as a result. I was so overjoyed for the last few days with the feeling that I was making a recovery, that, the step back today has put me in foul form. On top of that, I am growing increasingly anxious about the clients / partners who will be wondering when, if ever I will be back. I have a number of projects which are seriously falling by the wayside. Today I do honestly feel sick thinking about them and the lack of progress with them, solely because of my sickness. 

So where to from here? Last week I spoke about how I was going for some "quack" medicine. I am still going to do that, however after today, my mother, a nurse, is now getting me an appointment with a neurologist in Kerry. This is more or less to rule out other neuro problems, a common exercise carried out by ME sufferers. I can't say I am not getting increasingly worried and low about my situation. It is frustrating, worrying and costly both in monetary terms and career / business terms. Oh what I would do to be in work now, complaining about some work issue or the fact that I had to work late. Oh what bliss that would be! 

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