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Everything happens for a Reason!

2012 has been a strange, pretty incident fraught year for me. I have been very ill, with no sign of recovery in the short term, on the horizon. I have had to resign from my two businesses as I am not physically able to make it to the office anymore. I have had to move out of the home I shared with my girlfriend and move back to my parents house. My girlfriends business is expanding rapidly and she is doing quite long hours, and, because I need a lot of help it makes sense to do so, temporarily at least. Last month, the steering rack went in my car, a big, expensive repair now necessary on a car I owe a lot of money on at a time when I am earning nothing. I can't eat a lot of my favourite foods anymore and am on quite a strict diet. No sugar, no processed food whatsoever, no chilli or spices, basically bland fresh food that won't upset my stomach or digestion. Until I have my hospital visit at the end of May, this is a diet I must adhere to very strictly. I can't exercise anymore. For those who know me, I used jog almost every day. I found it one of the most invigorating yet calming things to do with my time, and particularly useful for combatting stress. You could say, that since January, a lot of negative things have happened me, albeit some more minor than others.

For those who don't know me, I am a bit of a crank. I mean I am a nice person, at least I think I am, but I have a fondness for cribbing and complaining a lot. I am not the guy who complains over mundane and pointless things. I am however, the guy who questions a lot of the aspects of modern day life. I find myself disagreeing with what seems to be the norm outlook or opinion regularly. For instance, I disagree with the whole Titanic malarky going on at the moment, I hate the premiership and the way most Irish men will brandish Liverpool jerseys, yet sing "Come out ye Black and Tans" at last orders on the same match day. On the flip side I detest the supposed republicans who follow a team in another country, who aren't even the most Irish team in that country, never mind in their own native country, that they supposedly love so much. I think you see where I am going.

But what has shocked me most about the last four months is that, these changes have brought about real positive changes in my outlook. I am not going to preach here, like I am some sort of reformed human being, whose time is now going to be spent giving life coaching lessons. However, what they say seems to be true, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

I have an extremely short fuse, a person who much of the time acts or speaks first and thinks after. This has changed. If this illness has taught me anything, it has taught me patience, a new attribute that the person who filled my petrol car with diesel last week experienced first hand. It has taught me to be grateful for my health. It has taught me of how absolutely useless money is in the grand scheme of things. It has taught me the value of true friends, and how useless acquaintances and supposed good friends are. I must admit to having a lot less true friends than I would have believed. But more than anything it has taught me that I no longer want to be the successful entrepreneur I always thought I did. This will sound corny, but I hope readers will understand that I am being extremely honest, even about my biggest flaws. This illness has made me question everything. When I am on my death bed, I want to have made a difference and helped people in their times of most need. I know how much I have appreciated those who have helped me in this strange time of my life. If or when I get better, a career change is on the cards I think. Maybe I will even go back and do what I always wanted to do when I was growing up, and become a doctor. I really don't know, what I do know is that I want to help people more. 

So on reflection, I just think this was meant to happen to me. I was after veering off my life path and I needed to be pushed back on to it. This sickness has got me thinking, and thank God it has, because already I am much much happier even to be questioning the path I am on. If I could offer one piece of advice it would be for more people to do the same. Never settle for being content. Always be honest with yourself and help the people around you more often. I have been grateful for all the help I have received this year and I genuinely believe it has changed my life and the path I am on. Just remember you will never know when you will need some help of your own.

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